Control, Alt and Delete Your Speech
As Mothers and Fathers, we find outselves rolling a tape when we are around others. From the work setting to a social gathering, we roll a tape of what we are about and the points that we want to get across to the person listening to us. A lot of times, our “tape” is embellished to drive a point that we are “nice people, powerful people or respected people.” We do this because we want the listener to gage similar feelings about us. When we roll our tape, we are solidifying that our character, whether real or exaggerated, gets across. However, once the meeting is over, we have allowed a listener to think something about us that is not true and we slowly chip away at not only our moral compass, but our character.
Alexsandra Wright has a great three step method to stop this. Like a computer, we have to control, alt and delete.
The answer to being our truth is simple. We have to stop our tape. However, it is the procedure that is hard. Many of us can’t stop rolling out the points we want others to know. Alexsandra asserts that the first step is to CONTROL our words and thoughts.
“Stopping our tape requires us to really listen to what we are saying. Every word. We must take notice which words we use to soothe or validate ourselves, our actions, our feeling and ultimately, our existence.” Do you find you are name dropping? Do you want the listener to know about your powerful job or how you are a much stronger person then you really are? Why do you want them to know these things, especially if they are not true? Control yourself from falsely validating.
Alexsandra’s second step is to Alter your words, thoughts and feelings. She suggests to give yourself some time, even in a social setting to BE STILL. Think of the words you use to validate yourself. These words will “tingle” a bit according to Alexsandra. Like a slight burn, you know that these words do not feel good and it’s time to take care of the problem area. Alexsandra wants you to notice that you are trying to convince someone of something. That someone is not the listener, it’s YOU. Stop right there! Take a deep breath. Instead of saying something in that moment… examine YOUR moment.
Okay readers, it’s time to purge. Yes, those uncomfortable moments according to Alexsandra are the ones that make us feel that we need to be our biggest and best self. However, seize the opportunity to be your AUTHENTIC self. Say nothing. Be in your moment. Most of all, let go of who you NEED TO BE and become WHO YOU ARE.
Are you being you’re authentic self? Leave your story in the comments section below!