4 Myths about SAHMs
Stay at home Moms were the norm for many, many years until about 20 years ago in North America when prices sky rocketed and most families needed two incomes to survive. Though many Moms around the world choose to stay at home either for their maternity leave or permanently, they seem to get a bad rap from some working Moms. To ease the ongoing tension with stay at home parents and working parents, we have the top four myths that stay at home Moms and Dads have to endure and how we can better understand those different from us. At the end of this list, many working parents will at least understand a little more into the Stay at Home Mom and Dad life.
They Can Afford to stay home/ They don’t work
A common misconception is that all Stay at home parents are able to afford to stay home. They either have a partner who makes a lot of money, allowing them to stay home with their kids, or they grew up in a wealthy family, where hard work is not an option. Though this is true for very few families, the truth is that it is less expensive for a stay at home Mom or Dad or stay home than to go to work! Let’s dive in.
Some areas can be quite costly for daycare and some countries do not have maternity leave. I knew of one area where daycare was $1700 to $2000 a month! Factoring in transportation, time and after school baby sitters, you would be spending money to go to work, rather than making money to help support your family. This is one of the main reasons why many parents have one parent staying at home.
Other parents stay at home because they make sacrifices as a family. They may have bought a smaller home, have one vehicle and buy with cash rather than credit. These adjustments can allow one parent to stay at home with the kids.
Some parents just budget for another to stay home. They may have a family business and it’s easier for one family member to work during the day while the stay at home parent works at night while taking care of the kids during the day.
Parents may also choose to homeschool and that decision alone has so many reasons, not always being religious. A stay at home parent may be taking care of children, ailing parents, or being a caregiver to multiple family members.
It is not always the peaches and cream story that others think it is. It involves a lot of decision making, hard work and sacrifices, just like the sacrifices that working parents make.
Stay At Home Parents Are Lazy
Have you ever heard working parents gossiping “she’s lazy, all she does is stay at home with her kids?” It seems like a wonderful life to sit at home, giving a kiss good bye before your children go to school and sitting back to watch your favorite shows, working out and then making a delicious meal for your whole family… right? Wrong! A stay at home parents life is busy, busy busy, just like a working parent. Stay at home parents do take care of their children and most likely prepare most of the meals, but a lot goes behind the scenes.
The stay at home parent life, like the working parent life, has its own culture. As a working parent, do you find that you’re obligated to go to work parties, holiday parties, after work hours dinners and business meetings? It can be a drag, but you do what you’ve got to do in order to keep your job. Stay at Home parents may not have business meetings or client dinners, but they are often pressured or obligated to volunteer for their child’s school, join Parent/Teacher Associations and more. If a stay at home parent’s spouse owns their own business, you will find that stay at home parent often volunteering to work at the business, becoming the face of the business or organizing a number of charitable organizations, meetings and galas to support the cause.
Many stay at home parents grant favors and take on challenges for their families and close friends. From babysitting their sister’s children a few times a week to taking care of an ailing parent, the stay at home parent can become the carer of their family and extended family. This means driving to hospital visits, check ins and maybe taking in a relative to live in with their house.
Stay at Home Dads also experience their own struggles. There are archaic misconceptions that men are supposed to always provide financially for their families. A stay at home Dad is still in a world within a world. Being a stay at home Dad where only Stay at Home moms get more understanding and not in the working world.
Stay at home Dads are the same as Stay at Home Moms. They are carers, school volunteers, helping with family businesses and taking on ailing parents, not to mention raising their children! Stay at Home Dads face a stigma
The Stay at Home Parent Does Not Have any Work Skills
A stay at home parent is usually a professional parent who has either put their career on hold to raise children or is exploring a new career option while taking care of children. Stay at home parents are educated, bright and willing to adapt to serious change, just like working parents.
A stay at home parent may start a business in between caring for their children and taking care of a home.
A stay at home parent may be dedicated to raising their children, providing moral support in all of their choices and volunteering with their schools, sports teams and more.
A stay at home parent may also be in a career that they could not stand or was not making enough money and they may be attending school themselves or looking for a career change. They opted to care of their children and go on two incredible journeys of challenge and change.
Stay At Home Parents Fail To Provide For the Family
Stay at home parents just don’t bring home any money! They can’t support their family financially and are failing to provide. This is another damaging statement. Many stay at home parents have part time jobs when the children are at school or in the evenings when their children are at work. Other parents have created their own part time business. Some stay at home parents tutor, sell products from online companies and more.
We had a stay at home parent friend who would go antiquing with her babies and refurbish and sell furniture and unique finds online! She eventually would cover able to cover a few bills for the family and helps save for an annual vacation.
Working parents sacrifice, work hard and cherish their children tremendously. Stay at Home Parents do the same but in a different way. We are all in this together and instead of pointing fingers at “who does more” we should learn more about the differences. We have a lot to learn from each other!