Originally posted: http://mommytalk73.com/2015/04/19/the-day-i-gave-my-kids-the-1999-version-of-myself/
We have had a long week, a lot going on in our family that has been weighing us all down, physically, mentally and emotionally. My eldest son ended up getting pink eye and after a trip to urgent care, he was told he had to stay home from school the next day and honestly it was the biggest blessing in disguise. We woke up to a beautiful day weather wise, and we all headed outside together to enjoy some fresh air. Immediately the boys started heading towards the big muddy spot in our yard and my first instinct was to tell them to avoid it… But as those words came out of my mouth I couldn’t help but to think…”Ughhh, I just sounded like my mother”… how did I get to be the age where I sound like my mom?!
I stood there watching them pick the safe option and walk towards the swings, heads down in disappointment. “Man, I really need to loosen up!!” went running through my head. My kids would have loved the 1999 version of myself… The carefree, fun 17 year old who found adventure in everything she did..Heck, I would love if that girl showed up more often, I miss that girl! I decided right in that moment, that my kids would get the 1999 version of myself for the day. They needed me to just relax, and to stop being their mom for that moment. They needed me to just be me, Nicole, without all the weight and responsibility of being their mom, a homemaker, a school advocate, and someones wife. And you know what? I needed it to.
I took off my mom cap, and put on my fabulous 1999 Uconn baseball cap. I turned on the radio, much louder than I normally would have and we rocked out right there in our front yard. The breeze was blowing, we had our sunglasses on and we danced, and sang out of tune and most importantly.. we laughed, deep belly laughs. The boys ran and jumped right into the mud pit and splattered it all over and had so much fun together while doing it…Two brothers enjoying each others company in the midst of a slimy dirt patch, just like it should be. My daughter even joined in at one point.. all three looking at each other getting covered in mud and thinking it was the funniest thing they had ever seen. We played soccer, and kept score. My youngest son opened up two packages of brand new sidewalk chalk, even though we only needed one.. and I let him. My daughter spilled her whole bowl of cookies all over the drive way… and I let her pick them up and eat each one of them. We ate more snacks than we did meals, and we went for seconds on dessert. We ran around the house without a care in the world. The pile of laundry and toys scattered all over did not even taunt me that day. In fact I stuck my tongue out at it and maybe even spit a little while making raspberry noises at it.. and my kids copied me… and we laughed… oh how we laughed. When the kids started to get tired and all needed to rest, I didnt take that time to make phone calls, pay bills or even write a blog.. Nope I laid on the couch with my pink eyed boy and we watched episode after episode of teenage mutant ninja turtles, and I liked it and so did he.
I felt free, they felt free. For that day I got to set aside all of the cares and responsibilities of our lives, and just survive in the moment. Sure the 2015 version of myself had a lot more stuff to catch up on the next day, but the kids, they had a blast with the 1999 version of mommy and fell in love with what made me, me all those years ago. Deep down in all of us that 17 year old version of ourselves still lingers…Some of it can stay back in 1999 where it belongs, but pieces of it.. well it was great to see again. I think I’ll keep those pieces around a little longer. And although I wouldn’t trade where I am today for anything in the world, it was nice to show my kids the version of me that their daddy fell in love with almost 16 years ago….