To Pierce or Not To Pierce: The Pressure
A hot topic for many when you have a baby girl is whether to pierce or not to pierce her ears. There have been many opinions on this topic in the news and magazines and everyone has their own view. Many pros and cons have been listed in the media on piercing that can make the decision conflicting.
We personally felt the pressure and were very conflicted on what we were going to do. However, we finally came to a decision that we based on what was best for our daughter. I hope from readingthis piece that you too as a parent decide based on what you think is best for your child.
Before having a baby, I always thought I would be piercing the ears of a baby girl if I had one. Since this was the culture and norm for baby girls in my family. However, my view changed as my baby girl, Nikki, was born and growing. Nikki now 14 months old has her ears perfectly small and hole less, just like the day she was born.
At 3 months which is the time that some mother’s take their babies to get their ears pierced (after the first vaccinations). We started to have mixed feelings about piercing her ears. We felt tremendous pressure to get Nikki’s ears pierced but we just didn’t want to put her through that pain. After Nikki’s baptism (at 4 months old), my husband and I discussed ear piercing again since we were always being asked. We took some time and thought long and hard about it and decided that ear piercing wasn’t on our “to do list” for Nikki. Even though we made this decision whenNikki was 4 months old, we felt the pressure until Nikki was 10 months old.
Our reasons are personal, specifically to our daughter, Nikki. We decided to let her make the decision as she gets older. We decided as her parents that this wasn’t the best time for her, considering that we knew our daughter best. We did not allow the pressure control what we decided to do with our daughter and we made the best decision for all of us.
Our Personal Reasons
Nikki tends to toss around a lot in her crib, she flips her head back and forth so much that we didn’t want her to hurt herself with earrings in her ears. She is also very active and always had a fascination in touching her ears. The thought of her hurting herself this way or getting an ear infection just didn’t seem worth it for us. In addition, Nikki loved to pull my earrings and happened to pull them right out of my ears a few times (yes it is painful and I’m an adult). So we could only imagine how she would be with her own. These components were key factors for us not to pierce her ears but most importantly, we want to give her that decision. If and when she decides she wants earrings, we will make it a very special event for her. I’m sure she will enjoy that, as I did when I got my second piercing done. It gave me some independence to decide on my own and it felt great for my self-esteem.
This decision has been hard for many people to comprehend since it has been instilled in families and society that girls should have their ears pierced at a young age. It has been difficult to explain our reasons and honestly I do not believe it really is necessary that we need to explain ourselves. I am hoping with time people will accept our decision and learn that tradition can change.
We should never pressure anyone to do anything that they do not want to do or are comfortable doing. Pressure is never a welcoming feeling for any new parent. My advice is to let parents be parents and let them decide on their own. Respect the decision and stop the pressure. No parent should feel guilty for piercing or not piercing their baby’s ears.
Do not get me wrong as I have no issue with parents who decide to pierce their baby’s ears as it is their choice. I had my ears pierced as a baby and I do not hate my parents for making that decision. I do not judge them, just like I do not want to be judged for not piercing my baby’s ears. We know our child the best and we should make the best decision for our child (ren). I know many parents who have pierced their baby girl’s ears and I know they made the best decision for their child and I support that.
My hope is to have everyone support one another and love who we are. Let us support parents and not judge them. In regards to pierce or not to pierce, my advice is to do what you feel comfortable in doing. If you want to pierce, then do so. If you do not want to pierce, then do not do it. Either way works as long as it’s what’s best for your child and remember YOU know them best!
– Momma Braga