This phrase bugs me, I mean really bugs me.
I have two amazing little men, a three year old and a five month old. The littlest man was barely born when I first heard this comment, in fact it was one of the mid wives who said it to me.
I had two difficult pregnancies, which included lots of medication and lengthy hospital stays, resulting in two c sections. I am so thrilled that my little men are fit and healthy boy, girl or otherwise pales in insignificant. Each nine month stretch was marred by worries, endless appointment, tests, scans – I look at those two men and think wow, how are you so perfect – my tough little cookies.
Each time that comment is said to me, I smile and nod politely however inside im screaming “do you not know how blessed I feel, to have such a tough time bringing them into the world that it really does not matter”. When my husband was telling people about the youngest man’s arrival into the world, somebody even said to him “congrats, but is your wife disappointed it’s not a girl?” The latest variant of the comment was said to me last Saturday night in out in our local restaurant – “you need a girl to look after you in old age”. Really?? Is that so – to be on the safe said ill put a bit by now for my own nursing home care.
I remember another incident when my first was born my friend had a girl a couple of weeks previous and the following sentence after the initial congrats was “I’m delighted I had a girl as a son is only yours until he gets a wife where as my girl is for life”. It might have been the hormones but I cried, real big tears when she said that to me, sure I’d only just brought him into the world, I have no intention of giving him up – not ever.
As a matter of interest I asked a close friend who has three girls and it was never ever said to her…sure you have to go again for the boy. Why do people give one gender precedence over another, why do I have to have a girl??
Yes, of course, if it happens I’ll be thrilled and she will be loved unconditionally like her brothers. However, if the Mamma Fairy house is destined to be made up of male fueled madness that’s ok with me too.