4 Things To Avoid Saying To Someone Going Through A Divorce
Going through a divorce can be one of the worst times in a person’s life. When a friend or family member is going through this, it is only natural to want to make them feel better. However, in your effort to ease their pain you might actually make it worse. If you are struggling for something to say to them, here are four things that you should avoid saying to someone that is going through a divorce:
1. “Everything will work out for the best.”
Divorce is an uncertain time and there is no way to know how things will turn out for either party. While the sentiment behind this statement may be optimistic, that’s not likely to be the outcome of the situation. Many people lose a lot when they divorce and suggesting that their loss is “for the best” can come off as insensitive. According to Begley Carlin & Mandio LLP, disputes with divorce are some of the most difficult and emotional situations for individuals to face. It is best not to make reference to such uncertain circumstances.
2. “I never really liked your spouse anyway.”
Now is not the time to confess how you’ve always felt about their ex-mate. There are several reasons for this. If you have a legitimate reason for disliking their ex, your friend may be wondering why you’ve waited so long to say something.
Confessing your dislike for their ex may also come across as an insult to your friend. After all, this is someone that they chose to marry. Although their opinion of their significant other may have changed, it is best for you to keep your opinions to yourself.
3. “Let me set you up on a blind date.”
Your friend may no longer be in a relationship but that does not mean that they are ready to begin dating again. Even if your intentions are innocent, your friend may interpret your offer as being insensitive and oblivious to what they are actually going through.
4. “Most marriages end in divorce.”
While this statement may be said so that your friend doesn’t feel alone, it is not likely to make them feel any better. That’s because using a blanket statement such as this can actually undermine their true feelings.
The best way to comfort a friend during their divorce is to just be there for them. Let them know that you are always available to listen to them without judgment. Accompany them to legal appointments or counseling sessions if applicable. Take them out for a night on the town when they feel up for it. Be a source of joy, not a source of anxiety.