The Day You Were Born Was Not the Best Day of My Life

The truth is, sweet boy, I would like to imagine the best day of my life with clothes on. And if I’m going to be naked, damn it, let me at least be skinny. Nope, there is no room for stretch marks and leaky breasts in my best day. No room for pushy lactation consults, or my father-in-law… at the foot of my bed… as his son tries to massage the milk from my breasts.

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