By: Karen Dennis Of The Next Best Thing To Mummy
What is Co Parenting After Divorce?
Co-parenting is a legal term were by two parents who are separated or divorced parent a child together (often in separate homes). Usually the child will be resident with one parent ,often the mother (although I do know of a few fathers who had custody of their children).
My experience co parenting after divorce
I used to co-parent my 2 sons with my ex husband. They lived with me, my new partner, his son and later the new baby that we had together. My boys visited their father several times a week. I would drop them off at his house twice a week after school, as at the time he didn’t have transport, they would have tea with their dad and his girlfriend and then come back to my house. Later they also spent every other weekend with their father.
We had a few teething issues over contact initially so both went for mediation which really helped, this was also a good solution for the children as they now felt more secure in knowing when they were going to be with each of us.
Co Parenting After Divorce is not easy!
Co-parenting is not easy but I strongly believe that as long as children are not in danger with a parent then it is better for them if they have time with both their mother and father.
It is important that children are made to understand that although their parents may no longer love each other they both still love their children and that they are not responsible for the separation.
Talk to your school about your co parenting situation
My advice would be to tell the school about the situation. We were fortunate in that the head teacher was very understanding and agreed to send home 2 sets of school reports: one for me and the other for my ex husband, we did the same with school photos.
We both attended parents evenings together, which was not easy, but worth putting up with each other for the sake of our children.
Co Parenting After Divorce From A Child Minder’s Prospective
I have also been a child minder for parents who were not living together. A parent cannot ask a child minder to not allow an ex partner to collect a child without providing a copy of a court order. I was once shown such a document and instructed that if the boys father turned up I was to call the police. I will admit that I was alarmed by this because I thought it would be upsetting for the child concerned and the other children in my care. Fortunately it never happened so I needn’t have worried.
Co-parenting is hard work but if both parents are prepared to ‘give and take’ it can be the best outcome for the children involved, the parents are the adults and should try to behave like them, which is often easier said than done, I know!
Try to agree on the same methods of behaviour management so that the children don’t get conflicting rules from each parent.
I have also covered this subject in earlier posts on absent parents and blended families. I would be interested to hear from others who have co-parented their children.
I hope this is what you were hoping for, Kat if you, or anyone else have other topic suggestions let me know.
As always questions/comments are welcome and share on social media if you think others would benefit from reading this.
Until next time