Alexsandra, the owner of Motivating Other Mothers, sits down for our interview, one year after we initially introduced her to our audience. Her son Nixon, briefly pops his head in with their beloved dog, Lola. “My family,” she smiles, eyes beaming with pride.
So much has changed for Alexsandra since last year. A year ago, she had helped over 2000 families that were in need of assistance. This year, that number has doubled to over 4000. Her website, Motivating Other Mothers is currently read and avidly supported in over 98 countries. Her outreach is growing every day.
#MOMS (Motivating Other Mothers) has become a global movement, of women helping other women. Whether it is finding a single mother and her children somewhere to stay overnight or changing the laws pertaining to domestic violence, it is all in another day’s work for Alexsandra and her growing team.
“I’ve really seen what being an active participant in my own beliefs, hope and hard work can manifest. “ She says, as she acknowledges all that she has accomplished in her last year. “I’ve trusted my process and worked hard. Through the process of working hard, I was finally able to hear my own “melody” … my own song or soundtrack to my life. I’ve learned you do not have to fight to create your own song, it’s already there, and I just had to learn how to listen and then metaphorically speaking sing it.” She encourages her other Mothers with this analogy to get out of their difficult situations, whatever they may be, and take the power back into their lives. Her hard work has gone recognized by some wonderful people and organizations.
In 2015, California‘s Governor Brown named Alexsandra to the Governor’s Advisory Board. The board seat an honorary privilege, enabling Alex to speak for the community she fights for, nationally and internationally. She also was selected to lead Southern California’s 100 Days, 100 Leaders, which works with celebrities, CEO’s and elected officials to provide new and innovative solutions for life to middle to no income families. Alexsandra was chosen to head up the not for profit sector where they researched viable solutions to increase jobs, help people find employment and lower their monthly living expenses. She knows how to help others who are worried about where they will go next after they have lost everything, because she has been there.
Practice Your Principles
Alexsandra does not just guide Mothers their challenges, she knows every step of that struggle, because she has lived it. She has been alone with her son, without a job, trying to find a place that is affordable to live. She has since pulled herself up, created Motivating Other Mothers and has reached new and exciting heights.
The Chief of Police in Los Angeles, Chief Charlie Beck, has acknowledged her impassioned work through a personal letter of commendation recognizing her for changing policies and procedures in the process of reporting domestic violence and its victims. She helped sculpt a new way for departments to share information and communicate more effectively throughout the many cities and counties in Southern California. This enables the District Attorneys offices to jump start change through the Victim Witness Assistance Program. Sometimes in order to heal ourselves, we must dive into charitable work and help others. As always, to move forward, give back
Alexsandra recommends that anyone going through a struggle such as divorce or child support issues to stand strong and create victories for yourself, you must always live in your truth.
The Truth Starts With You
Alexsandra shares that she recently got out of a relationship that had not been working for quite some time. Her only relationship since gave birth to Nixon. She realized that she was diving into her work and disconnecting with her partner even further as she tried to compensate for the lack of intimacy and trust. The more she dove into her work, the unhappier she became. How can she get out of this cycle of sadness? Her truth was, that real relationships should embody balance. From work to personal relationships she was only focused on one goal. She had not held her partner accountable for supporting her through her challenges. She realized she had settled for far less than she deserved because of the global scale of her celebrity. Once Alexsandra came to terms with this, she took off her “golden handcuffs” and she decided to create an environment where she was happy and she and Nixon could both thrive. She acknowledged and grieved the death of her mother, the death of her relationship, and the birth of her new life. She practiced her principles. So, she got a new place for her and Nixon (and Lola) and reaffirmed her belief that when her son is truly happy, she is truly happy.
The new environment is a safe and emotionally healthy place for her family to live. She shed the pain of the past, now exists in positivity and freedom. Removing these last shackles opened up the heart, her life, her career, and her spirit, and new opportunities began to flow through these cleared channels. As Alexsandra puts it so eloquently, she “lives in her soaring spirit”. No matter what happens, be true to yourself. A mother who takes care of herself can take care of her children. Happy parents make happy kids.
Alexsandra tells people to own the negative incidents that happen in their lives! She “encourages people to understand that people do stumble and fall but you and only you are responsible for clearing the “backyard of your life”. Be an authentic leader. So many people have dirty backyards.” The truth “starts with you, even if you’re only lying to yourself, the deception will kill you.”
“I am humble, I am successful. Nixon is thriving. My journey is far from over and we must enjoy our journey! Honesty is always telling the truth, sometimes taking a dive but most of all, putting your theory into practice!
She started to embrace this new journey. Once she weathered through the storm, despite “adversity and challenge” Alexsandra is loving her new, her 100% authentic life! She has a great career. She is proud of the excellence that she has commanded in her life. “If you’re not getting it,” she attests, “create it!” She had to be happy to continue to allow Nixon true happiness.
The Fame, The Friends and The Fight
Alexsandra has now signed a two book deal detailing the aspects of her life. Her fans and community realize that there is more to the woman who swamped headlines years ago and they want to know more about the woman behind those images. We will be seeing those two books come out shortly!
She also has worked with the hit show, Crime Watch and will correspond with them throughout 2016. She will be hosting a new show coming out later this year called HIT SQUAD, where she travels across the United States helping parents who have been wronged, giving them the tools and resources they need to change their lives. This includes but is not limited to living arrangements, legal advice from professionals and more.
Alexsandra has been written about and quoted in many books. Most recently, we can find a deep dive throughout “Becoming Beyoncé”, by acclaimed author J. Randy Taraborrelli. Alexsandra and her family felt that it was good to tell the story, in her words, authentically. Being part of that book was cathartic and allowed her a voice to tell her side of the story. It was the one and only time she will go on record to address this part of her life. “It is only important to address these things for the sake of Nixon. I am the sole provider of his identity, self-esteem, and legacy”.
She is excited through her multi-faceted jobs to help over 5000 people by the end of the year. But how does she handle it all?
“Through humor.” She attests,” Even though I do not laugh every day.” She at one time had to deal with celebrityesque problems on a food stamp budget. By problems, we mean security risks and death threats. Tracking down those people who broke the law and protect herself and her son does not come cheaply. She has learned through those times that she needs to take a step back and get herself credit for her victories. She had lost her great career and built herself back up from nothing. Instead of that keep going attitude, Alexsandra acknowledges her accomplishments and encourages other Mothers to do the same. “If you want balance, give yourself credit for those victories, big and small.”
By acknowledging these victories, Alexsandra has learned to enjoy the simpler things in life and therefore, everyone once in a while, she has taught herself to disconnect every once in a while.
“I learned to turn off my phone and email. I am a workaholic by nature. So it is easy to get lost and not have a quality of life. I don’t go out with my friends so when you do see me out and about it is always work related. My child comes first, always. Though choosing Nixon over extra work can slow down some processes, I know that my adult “personal life “ should have taken a back seat for these formative years. It was a calculated risk for our family’s overall happiness. My child is confident and secure.” That knowledge is worth every tiny sacrifice.
This time for herself allows her to refuel and get ready for the next big fight for a Mother who is on welfare or to prepare for all of the projects she has on the go this year.
Nixon has received a lot of his own headlines concerning his parents. But not many know how he is growing up in the spotlight. His picture is shared constantly, but we never hear about what it is like to be Nixon day to day. How is her sweet son, Nixon doing?
“Nixon is six years old in February and is going to school. He is five years old and preforming at a grade two level! I am still going to be the light for my son, be healthy in mind, body, and spirit. If one of those core pillars is off balance, everything goes off. It’s the balance. In my home life and in work, I can lead my clients, my friends, and my community to where they find balance and find the gratitude in every challenge.”
To any haters out there, she has a simple message, “When you see that celebrity, you never know who or what is really behind those eyes in that picture or screen. Many people are anonymous assassins, using their keyboard and a moniker as weapons of mass destruction. They are not heroes, they are cowards and bullies. Those people and those principles have no place in our lives”. For those families who feel like someone is always bringing them down, know that you cannot live in the house of other people’s critiques. That mental balance of happiness and satisfaction brings freedom. Mothers everywhere, according to Alexsandra should be “calculating balance and take calculated compromises to reap the benefit.”
What can we expect for Motivating Other Mothers this year? Alexsandra affirms a lot. She will be hosting a day spa series and seminars tied in with her new show later in the year. A panel of celebrities and experts will be hosting a wonderful seminar for women to regain control, balance and lead their own lives. It is perfect for those seeking balance of all kinds, including self-balance and career balance!
Motivating Other Mothers is also being read in 98 countries worldwide. It is not only a website but a movement, a brand and Alexsandra and her team are changing things for Mothers everywhere! In a years’ time, she wants to expand and continue to be a global hub of resources and information for all Mothers.
Where will Alexsandra be in another year? She is certain she will be traveling around the world, helping Mothers and Children and growing her community. She looks forward to her television show launch and it being a hit. She wonders if she can be even happier and is looking to “embrace all of the gifts life is giving me. I want to harvest them all.”
She will also be working with her team from her show that is coming out later this year. Hit Squad, produced by Emmy Award Winners Peter Brennan and Lisa Lew, will feature Alexsandra traveling around the United States helping Moms who have been victimized by others. Her team of experts will be on site, ready to tackle any problem her Moms have.
Parents think about how they will be remembered by their children. Would their message be translated properly through their actions? We asked Alexsandra to sum up, in five words, how she would describe her legacy that she would be leaving her son, Nixon. For a woman who is a public speaker, we were impressed she came up with the answer so quickly,
“Keep true, empower positive change.” All we can ask for our children is to be happy and be good to others. After seeing how sweet, excited and curious Nixon is at five, we would confidently say that he is well on his way to understanding his Mother’s legacy and implementing a positive mind, body and spirit into his own.
Nixon comes in from a sunny Los Angeles Day, the interview is finished and this super Mom has to get to a very important task, dinner time! It looks like chicken is on the menu. Nixon inquires quickly, flashes a toothy grin, and suddenly scoots off to the next adventure.
What is the quote that motivates her every morning? The public speaker and brand expert looks at us thoughtfully for a second. She is used to speaking publicly to panels, motivating mothers to get off of welfare and start a new job, or teaching executives how to brand their big businesses. Surely, this quote is going to be prolific, rare and inspiring. She stops making supper for a second, and asks if we have ever seen Finding Nemo.
“Dory, (played by Ellen DeGeneres) the fish from the movie “Finding Nemo”, she said it simply and she said it best. She gives children and adults alike a great lesson. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming.” Simple. Beautiful. Effective.
Finding balance can be tough, but through truth and perseverance, that journey can be the most satisfying ride of your life. So dive in and find your balance. Visit Motivating Other Mothers today.
As for Alexsandra, she suggests she is swimming and we look forward to finding out what waves she takes on in 2016.