Calling All Moms: Daily Habits to Boost Self-Esteem
Having a healthy self-esteem allows you to feel worthy, loved, and ready to take on any challenges that life throws your way — but actually attaining and maintaining that kind of self-love isn’t as easy as some make it sound. Positive self-esteem is a lifelong battle, but the key to winning it is in making small daily changes to your mindset and lifestyle.
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Make Small Goals
Everyone worries about the future — career, raising kids, money, health, you get the gist. It’s easy to feel as if you are falling short in the grand scheme of life when your long-term goals haven’t been met yet. Setting relevant, smaller goals to be met on a daily or weekly basis will help you stay on the path to your long-term goals, without taking hits to your self esteem.
For example, if you want to lose weight/get fit, make a goal to eat at least one healthy meal. If you want a cleaner house, break it into smaller pieces (one project per weekend, for instance). If you want to go back to school, start with sending an email to an academic advisor. As you meet your smallest goals, even the seemingly irrelevant ones, you will find yourself more driven and more capable of meeting the bigger ones. And most importantly, you will find that your self-confidence has grown, too.
Focus on the Positive
It’s easy to focus on the negative. You don’t like your weight, your job can be grueling, and you can’t afford the vacation you have been dreaming of. Instead of constantly dwelling on the negative, force your brain to stop criticizing everything that is wrong in your life. For every negative thought you have, think of something you’re grateful for, or something praiseworthy (this often piggybacks on the small goals we just discussed).
Don’t let yourself get caught in the despair of thinking that you’ll never reach your goal weight; instead, focus on the fact that you ate a healthy lunch and got in some exercise that day. Don’t let yourself think about the things you don’t like about your job; be grateful that it enables you to pay your bills.
When get in the habit of catching and reversing negative thoughts, you will realize that those negative thoughts come less often. As a result, you will be more confident, and more likely a more pleasant person to be around.
Do you constantly compare yourself to others? You can’t fix your self esteem if you have a habit of comparing yourself to your coworkers, friends, family, or even random people on the street. It’s fine to draw inspiration from others or to admire them for their achievements; when you constantly worry that you will never measure up, your self-esteem goes into a nosedive. Use another’s success as motivation to achieve your own goals; more than likely they have their own personal struggles that they envy you for — you just can’t see them. If needed, don’t think about other people at all. This is your journey, after all.
Too many of us don’t speak up when our opinions are challenged or even when we are asked as a means to avoid confrontation and “keep the peace.” We say yes when we really want to say no, and we allow others to dictate how we think and speak, resulting in handing the reins of your lives to someone else. Not letting yourself be an individual is terrible for your self esteem!
Telling everyone exactly what you think all of the time isn’t always necessary, and is rarely appropriate. But it is important to speak your mind and hold your ground when it comes to important issues, even if what you have to say isn’t always the popular idea. Your self-esteem and very sense of self will improve when you learn to speak what you really feel, which often starts with saying NO.
Be Patient with Yourself
Finally, have patience. Your self-esteem isn’t going to magically improve in just a few hours. But by steadily working on these daily goals over time, you will be shocked by how much better you feel about yourself — and your life.