….and counting. Yes, my son has been in the NICU for 18 weeks… and he will be there for a couple more. Matthew’s nephrologist finally said those magic words. ..he’s ready to go home.

All my husband and I have to do is Learn how to do his dialysis… feed him through the g-tube.. give him his meds.. and thats pretty much it. Its not a lot, but it is. It’s a lot, but it isn’t.

Im nervous and excited. Im scared and happy.

I was scrolling through and reading some blogs about the NICU and premature babies. I read posts on Facebook and links to stories on pinterest… so many premature births.. so many stories. Babies born so early… but go home. Maybe it was just the posts I happen to click on or my mind just being a little bitter betty for the moment… but I kept running into posts where their babies came home after 2wks.. 5wks.. 2 months.. out of the many posts and stories I ran into, all the babies came home after a short period of time.

Oh, the struggle of not having your baby home for two weeks… (I say this sarcastically as I roll my eyes)

Bitterness and resentment hit me for a moment. I was bitter because here we are… four months later and STILL here. I thought this after learning we may only have about two more weeks on this NICU roller coaster.

For a second I thought… people are really traumatized over two weeks? ! Seriously? ! These people would NEVER survive four months!!

But shortly after I thought that… I said to myself “wow! What is wrong with me? Why in the world did I think that?!”

Any amount of time in the NICU is awful. Any time spent worrying or heartbroken over their child is awful. Especially a baby just born…

I am blessed. There are babies that never make it home. There are parents who never get to see their babies take a breath…

So if I have to stay in the NICU for a few more weeks, I will forever be grateful that I get to bring my baby home.