6 Magical Ways to Prevent Fights Between Your Children
Fights between siblings are inevitable, especially when they’re young. As a parent you need to accept your reality that often you will have to be a referee in these squabbles that are dead serious to your children, even though you see them for what they are – passing feuds that will be forgotten the next day. However, it’s not easy to run a household while kids are running around screaming at each other and demanding for you to make it everything right, which is why it would be wise to prevent fights before they take full sway.
Naturally, that won’t always be possible, but in time you’ll learn to recognize little tattletale signs that warn you that the rant storm is coming. That is why we’ll discuss six magical ways to prevent fights between your children and make your life much easier.
1. Don’t Condone Blame
Kids get all fussy and panicky when something bad happens and it’s their fault, which is why they will do all they can to pass the guilt onto someone else aka their sibling. There might be crying, screaming and yelling involved because kids try to attract your attention to them, not to the problem they’ve made and then comes shifting of the blame – I didn’t do it, he did! She made me spill my juice all over the carpet! This game will go on and on if you let it and you can be damn sure that all you’ll want by the end of it is for your little ones to be quiet.
Here it’s crucial how you approach the situation and we strongly suggest cutting the blaming short simply by saying that it’s not important who did it, you simply want to know what happened. Once they realize they’re not in trouble, kids calm down almost momentarily and then you’ll find out exactly what happened. This mechanism not only stops them from fighting, it also allows them to come to you with the problem calmly, without any hesitation and fear you will snap at them.
2. Let Them Know Where You’re Coming From
Your kids will jump to conclusions about everything you do that has anything to do with them, but you have to make your peace with that. It takes very little for them to perceive something as injustice and that is where rants begin. You should always strive to explain to your kids why you decided something will be done in a certain way. Don’t justify yourself by any means, but elaborately explain why the decision you made is important for them. You need to do this firmly but gently because you don’t want your kids to think that you should explain yourself every time, but when you say something has to happen in a certain way, come up with something better than – Because I said so! Before a fight even occurs between your little ones, interrupt it, tell them how to behave, separate them if you must, but always give reasons why you’re doing so.
3. Make Them Quality Spend Time Together
Yes of course they’re spending most of their time together anyway, which can actually be the reason of their constant fighting, but how they spend that time is what matters. Though they are much harder to reason with sometimes, your kids are little humans, so don’t belittle how much they can understand and how they can get fed up of each other. However, things turn dramatically when you make them rely and trust each other in their joined endeavors and this is what you should focus on. Come up with constructive playtime routine where they have to work together instead of squabbling over the same toy. Include them in house chores, where they can help you clean up the living room, or let them lend you a hand in meal preparation for the whole family. These activities will bring your kids closer, plus they will learn about their responsibilities from an early age, which will only be a plus in the future.
4. Don’t Dismiss What They Have to Say
This is a difficult one for parents, simply because we believe we must know everything better than our younger generations. While it’s true that we are here to guide and raise our children to the best of our abilities, it is very important to stop in your tracks and listen attentively what your kids have to say. Sometimes it will be pure whining and complaining how you or their sibling isn’t being fair, but sometimes there’s much logic behind their behavior when we let them explain it to us. Don’t be presumptuous and think that you know all they’re going to say – kids surprise us with their wisdom regularly. Sometimes just letting them speak (in a normal tone) is enough to make your children understand each other better and in that, you will understand them better too.
5. Be Careful with What You Present Them
Children mimic everything they come across, from the tone of voice to body language and the way they speak to other people. This is why it’s vital to lead by good example and be careful how you communicate with people around you. You can’t expect your kids to behave exemplary, when you’re the first one to lose temper and storm out of the room when things don’t go your way. They are their own people, but in the beginning of their lives they depend on you for everything, including how they deal with the world, so it’s essential to show them the way. Also, pay attention to what they’re exposed to on TV and when playing games, those aspects shape their pliable minds too.
6. Know When to Draw the Line
There are times when you’ve listened to what they have to say, you’ve tried to explain nicely, you’ve done all you can to stop the fight from happening but it still does. Well, this is the moment when the gloves come off. When you see that your little angels will be screaming at each other until their lungs give out, put a stop to it immediately. Put them in separate corners if need be, tell them to sit in quiet and think about what they’re doing. They will fuss and complain, but you have to know where and when to draw the line. Your kids might be disappointed when you send them to their room and you won’t feel amazing either, but little ones will learn where the limits are and they won’t test it… at least for a couple of days.
Raising children is one of the most fulfilling and daunting tasks you will face in your life. You will be directly involved into their every problem, fight and sense of injustice and the best you can do is decide in the moment how to settle the situation and hopefully, there six pieces of advice will help you in this endeavor. – Vanessa Davis
Vanessa Davis is a 32-year-old fitness enthusiast, mother of two and content writer at www.diet.st. She’s originally from Long Island, New York, and when she isn’t cooking up some new health and fitness article, she enjoys doing yoga and figuring out new, delicious organic recipes for herself and her kids.