Mary Jane and Lucy
Originally posted on the Infertility Awareness Association of Canada’s Website
I’ll admit, it I’m not a writer. But I need to share my story. I tell my story through photographs because that’s what I am…a photographer.
Our story began by simply making the decision to stop taking birth control and to start officially trying for a baby.We had no idea of the journey we were about to take on together. Thankfully we did it together as that’s the only way we got through it. We tried for a year and then headed to the Victoria Fertility Clinic.
We’d found out just before then that I did have a fibroid and so we figured that was causing us not to get pregnant. We were quickly told that it wasn’t the problem. Shortly after starting with the clinic and going through all the tests we found out everything looked good for us to try clomid. They figured that would do the trick. We tried six rounds of cliomid with no success and we were heartbroken. Everyone thought this was going to do the trick. We then moved onto IUI. We did the first two with just clomid and after the second one failed we made the decision to the third with a trigger shot as well. Just in case. Our third IUI was on our fourth wedding anniversary and we found out on Valentine’s Day that it worked – I was pregnant! We were over the moon. Baby books here we come! Then just over two weeks later I started to spot. Over the next six weeks I would go for blood work every other day and ultrasounds a couple times a week because my HCG levels kept rising but they couldn’t find anything in my uterus. I even had a biopsy done to see if there was any ‘baby’ DNA that they could find. Sadly after six weeks of bleeding and tests they finally spotted something in my right tube. We were put on high alert and after another few weeks everything resolved itself. Devastation….
As I mentioned above I’m a photographer and I specialize in maternity & newborn portraits. Through all of this I was photographing newborns almost every week. It was becoming more and more difficult to deal with. I saw a counsellor who helped me so much. She gave me the courage to tell my clients what I was going through. What happened next I wasn’t prepared for. The outpouring of love and support I received was amazing. From then on I told everyone. I found it helped heal me because I would then hear my clients stories of their struggles and heartache and I would know that I wasn’t alone. It wasn’t just me who is going through this.
We then did a fourth IUI and it failed. We took the summer off to heal and get set up to start IVF. Our fresh cycle didn’t take but thankfully we had two frozen embryos. We put one frozen one in and it worked!!! It truly was an amazing day to find out I was pregnant AND the same day I earned my accreditation for Child & Infant Photography through the Professional Photographers of Canada. It’s like the world was telling me…now I was ready to photograph my own little baby and be a mom.
Through the four year journey it was hard. I had my lows and my highs. I met so many people who struggled as we did and I just found that by talking about it I found my way through it all. I told myself that each baby I got to hold and take pictures of was a test for me to just keep getting better so that when I had my own baby I could do her photos. Now that I am on the other side of the journey I still talk about it. I share and share as much as I can in the hopes that maybe I can help just one other couple. Provide hope to someone who is struggling. I often post on my facebook business page about Lucy and I have actually had strangers email me to thank me for supporting the journey and for giving them hope.
One day I hope to make a book of all the pictures of our journey in order to tell Lucy how she came into this world. Every year on her ‘shooting star day’ (FET Transfer Day) we have taken a photo of her with her embryo to remember the day she was sent back home to us. The day she showed us how strong she was to be frozen first. We call it that because when you watch her float into your uterus on the ultrasound it was like watching a shooting star in the sky and we made a wish for her to find her home.
We are so thankful for the Victoria Fertility Clinic and Dr. Hudson for creating our medical miracle…our beautiful work of A.R.T. We took her to meet her ‘maker’ when she was just three weeks old. I have taken a photo of her with each person that helped us on our journey because they were our support system through all of this and we couldn’t of gotten through it without them.