I Don’t Like Roller Coasters- 19 Weeks In The NICU
I have never ever ever been the roller coaster riding type. I don’t like the fall. I don’t like the feeling I get when going down on a dip.. my stomach lifts and flies into my throat.. my brain floats internally within my skull.. my body rises off the seat and I am helpless. I hold on as tight as I possibly can.. but I am helpless.
I have been on the NICU roller coaster for 19 weeks. And we are just about done. Preparing for our son to come home. .feels like we are going through the last of the twists and dips. I am SO ready to get off this ride!! I’m feeling dizzy.
Our dialysis training is going great. Monday we start our hands on training with Matthew inside the NICU. We will do training on giving him his meds.. giving him a bath.. and feeding him with a bottle, through the G-tube and the kangaroo overnight pump. Lots to do in the next couple days. Not only that but we have to buy a dresser for his machine.. make room for EVERYTHING.. and get a carpet cleaner and house cleaner in ALL by Tuesday. We are hoping he come home Wednesday.
ONE WEEK. OMG. I will have my son home..in ONE WEEK! God’s Promise to me.. a son.
So as we prepare for our son’s homecoming and are relieved to be getting off of this NICU roller coaster… we are preparing ourselves for a different ride. Another roller coaster. This one is just as frightening. .just as hard.. and just as exciting and vigorous as the one we are finishing up.
Everyone everyone everyone has told us to get ready… this next coaster is worse.
I feel our God has prepared us for this next coaster. I’ve given my son to God. I relinquished all my trust and belief into Him… my son does not belong to me.. I only get to borrow him and do the best I can with raising him into the Godly man he was created to be. The Lord was very clear with my job. And I intend on fulfilling my duties as a mother.
So in these last few twists and turns and dips.. I raise my hands and let go. I feel God’s breath over me… He’s got us… God’s got us.
Lets get on this next ride…